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The perfect time
time is twisted
beeker121
I have a habit that I am trying to break, but I'm not quite sure how.  It's not as simple as flossing every night, or getting up 15 minutes earlier every day.  No, I tend to set goals with attached rewards (a good thing ordinarily) but then decide that the reward should wait for a furtherance of the goal.  You know, when (thing A) happens then (thing B).  When I lose ten pounds I'll buy new clothes.  When I'm buying new clothes I'll adopt the change in style I've been itching to make.  When I can run fast enough I'll try to go further.  When I get this show open I will read the book and do the exercises that will help me figure out what other career I might want to transition into.  When I own a house I'll have grown up furniture.  When, when, when...

How many of us fall into the same trap?

The one I have been struggling with most lately is about buying new clothes.  Last year at this time I weighed 148 and was easily in the best shape I had been in for at least five years.  Then came the surgeries, and RAI, and recovery and through it all I ended up at 160 by last November.  I've maintained at that weight since then, and slowly started losing again recently, but it's easy to not want to buy new clothes until I'm back where I was.  Then I remember that last year at this time, I was putting off buying new clothes until I lost five more pounds.

Sometimes the goal/reward system works if you stick with it and don't let either end slide.  I always said I'd get my tattoo when I paid off my credit card and it took six years, but I have a fabulous tattoo that I love.  It was a definite goal, and a definite reward, and I didn't add more to it  once I got close.

There isn't ever really a perfect time for anything.  Not to buy a house, not to quit your job, not to start a diet, not to do something as silly as go clothes shopping.  There comes a point when waiting for just the right time is an avoidance game and I have to start to wonder am I putting things off legitimately or am I simply scared of doing them at all?  Do I have any intention of changing careers or do I talk about it when work gets annoying and then let inertia keep me where I am?  Do I really want to revamp my whole wardrobe into a daily wear steampunk look, or am I afraid that people will laugh and use the next five pounds as an excuse to stay in jeans and t-shirts?  Do I really want to run a marathon or is it just cool to talk about?

There is a John Mellencamp song titled "Your Life is Now".  I'm going to start working on living that, every day.  My life isn't in ten fewer pounds, or after I get my dream job, or after I buy a house.  My life is right now.
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I have been up and down on the weight roller coaster myself and I TOTALLY understand the "I'll go shopping when I lose [insert number] of pounds" mentality. However...I ascribe to the Stacy & Clinton mantra of "dress the body you have, not the body you wish you had".

I completely understand not wanting to buy a whole new wardrobe for the size you're at if you intend to be a smaller size in the near future, but buying a few key pieces that fit you now will make you feel better in your clothing and in turn just make you feel better.

Yeah, I really want a snazzy new pair of pants, and I've been putting off shopping for anything to go on my bottom half for six months. It's time to go and just get one pair of something, and then go back later.

I like the Stacy & Clinton quote, I watched that show a lot last summer.

So, so true. The whole thing. And something I've been struggling with. Why do we do this to ourselves? So we can look back at 70 or 80 and say, "I wish I'd done it differently?" Ugh.

Good for you.

Exactly. I don't want the answer to 'what did you do today' to be 'I waited for things'. It's just silly.

I constantly have those kind of thoughts. Yes, the weight thing, although after being uncomfortable in too-tight jeans and wearing shirts that were busting at the boobs, I just gave up and bought more comfortable clothes for the 'now'. It turned out that I actually felt better about myself wearing clothes that fit me, and not constantly plaguing myself that I had had gained weight and must really work on losing it (you know, soon...).

As for the job thing and the money thing, I have the same thoughts, and the same opinions. Life throws whammies at you sometimes, so enjoy what you've got now, you might be wishing for life as you know it now a day, week or year later.

The song that I always referred to was "I hope you Dance," by Lee Ann Womack. When I had the lyrics to that song in my head, I said 'yes' to a lot more situations that I would originally have said 'no' to, and I'm better off for it. When I first met Jim, and discovered I liked him, it was the lyrics of that song that pushed to me to call him and ask him out. Now we're married. Sometimes living for the now and not worrying about the consequences can be an exhilarating and wonderful thing. If you ever wait for the 'Perfect time' to do something, you'll miss it. I fully support the Live in the Now theory.


Yeah clothes that fit, no matter what your size, really are the best thing for making one look good. I still have stuff that fits, but I'm only wearing about half my clothes regularly.

Living in the now is surprisingly hard, but I'm going to keep working on it. And I'll have to find a copy of that song and listen to the lyrics more carefully.

Living in the now is SO HARD! I've been struggling with this for years. And then sometimes I get caught up in the now and struggle to think about the future - there's really no winning with me :)

Last year I bought a few key pieces of clothes that fit me, since I had gained a lot of weight, and a year later I'm still wearing them! I was making excellent progress for awhile, even started wearing some jeans that had been too tight, and now I'm not again. But I've been more or less enjoying myself and not too worried about the weight factor at the moment.

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