Rebecca

links and silliness

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:50:07 GMT

Go here to see Ms. elisem's brilliant jewelry, now on sale! elisem.livejournal.com/1528096.html I own several pairs of her earrings and have also bought at least one pair as a gift. Her work is gorgeous and on sale besides? Definitely worth checking out. Besides, it'll keep me from buying everything she has. The sale ends on Tuesday 11/10 in the evening.

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It's also voting time for LJ Idol again. It is a friends only vote this time, which means that you'll need to friend the community to vote. The poll is up here: community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/267176.html and I am still in the third tribe on the page named for lady_hoshi. The numbers of entries are getting more manageable and with this week's topic of "smile" many of them are fun. Read around if you have the chance. Voting also closes on Tuesday 11/10.

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J and I invented a new tongue twister this week. I am not going to explain the conversation that led up to this, though I'm sure you can take a pretty educated guess. In the meantime try saying 'post-coital sticky thigh sweat' five times fast. It has an interesting rhythm to it.

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Happy weekend to those who have one!

LJ Idol week 3: Smile

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 04:08:43 GMT

My niece was the first grandchild born on either side of her family. As such, she was the subject of what might have been an overabundance of ‘photo opportunities’. Smile, we’d command her, smiling in the hope that she would mimic us. By the time she was two, Sara had adapted a coping mechanism for photos. If she saw someone with a camera, she would stop what she was doing and eke out a watery, fake smile until her photo was taken. Then she’d resume whatever activity had her engrossed. It became a family game to try to take photos of her un-posed and in her element – smiling or not.

I suppose she’s not alone. In grade school, my brother practiced his smile for hours in front of the mirror before school picture day. There was a small gap between his two front teeth that he didn’t like, and he wanted to be certain no one would be able to see it in his school photo. He succeeded. The tight-lipped smile in his fourth grade picture keeps all of his teeth hidden, but it looks a little plastic all the same.

I wonder how often this happens to us in daily life. The proliferation of digital cameras and camera phones make it possible to capture every single moment of our lives if we choose. It becomes easy to concentrate on what our smile looks like, and to forget the joy of simply smiling.

I know that when I’m laughing or just in a great mood my smile is huge. It takes up more than its fair share of my face and my mouth is a little too open. It looks awful in photos. But why is that even an issue? Why can’t we all just smile with joy and abandon and not care what it looks like?

It’s the sudden, unexpected smiles that are the most fun: the tickle smiles, the punch line smiles, the aced a test, got a compliment, finished a to-do list, I love you smiles. I think we should concentrate more on finding the real smiles in our lives, and worry less about how they’re going to look to everyone else. No one can choose what posterity will think of them, so maybe all we can do is have as much fun as possible and hope that shines through.

@@@This is my entry for week 3 of LJ Idol - the topic is “smile”. I'll post a link to the poll once it is up on Friday. Thank you for reading.@@@

bits

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 03:06:49 GMT

- In the first week of my upcoming show rehearsals, if you count all of the cast members (including the two middle-schoolers who are double cast) as their own people I can have the whole cast in one room at the same time for 5 out of 35 hours. If you count the double-cast girls as one person (ie. as long as I have one of them I'm good) that number jumps to a whomping 12 hours. *headdesk*

- And we still don't have a script finalized to start rehearsals with. On Friday the author said to go back to version A, over the weekend we were pretty sure we could make version B work, and when the Director called on Monday to relay that the author said, oh never mind there's a version C I'm working on. That you should have tomorrow (that being yesterday so tomorrow was today). No script has arrived yet, so we wait in limbo for version C.

- Walking into this show without any significant time off since July is probably going to be very bad for my sanity, and my burn out rate. I'm going to try very hard not to take it out on anyone else though.

- In not-theatre news my Halloween costume turned out really nicely. In fact, I would like to dress like that more often, Halloween or not. A friend took photos, as soon as I can snag them from him I'll post one or two (and then stop with the pictures of me already, I promise).

- No trick-or-treaters came to the door while I was home so I have a bag of mini-snickers to get rid of. In a way that doesn't involve me eating all of them.

- J was gone for the weekend to see his dad, he didn't see the new hair until he got back last night. But he likes it.

- I've gotten better about exercising again. I'm not doing anything awe-inspiring, but I'm fitting 30 minutes of something a day more often than not. I know this is going to fall apart in December when I'll be working two jobs, but one of those jobs will be on my feet and lifting things so I'm thinking that will count. Now I just have to not let the fact that I can't go to yoga in December convince me to stop going now.

- The family Christmas gathering on my mom's side is happening in January so I can go this year. Which will be fun, I generally see the Aunts and Uncles on mom's side more often, but some of those cousins I haven't seen in ages. There's a chance that on that weekend Mom&Dad, J&I, Paul&Kim and all four kids will all be staying at my parent's house. Wheee!

voting and hair

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 19:29:19 GMT

I know the internets are all clamoring to know what color my hair turned out to be. At least all the tens of folks who responded to the poll. But I'm not going to tell you until you go and vote in the LJ Idol poll.

Ok, not really. But the poll is up here: community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/264520.html I'm still in the third tribe down on the page named after Ms. lady_hoshi and if you enjoyed my post about walking home in the snow I would appreciate your vote. 70ish people took byes this round, so apparently this topic stumped a lot of people, those who did write came at it from all kinds of angles. They're fun to read.

My hair turned out beautifully. I am still catching glimpses of myself in mirrors and doing double takes.

My vanity does force me to point out that I am wearing no makeup at all, so please forgive that. Thanks everyone for the conversation about what I should do, it was fun, and helpful.

Happy Halloween everyone! I am curious to see how my costume plans actually turn out. I'm now going to sit and do my nails while watching the 1931 Dracula with Bela Lugosi.

Oh and a short PSA - tonight at 2am is the end of daylight savings time - fall back, fall back, fall back.

hair color?

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:59:47 GMT

I have an appointment tomorrow to cut and color my hair. I'm very excited, a haircut is overdue. But I'm a little nervous about the color, because I'm not sure what I want.

I decided it was time to color my hair again as part of me needing a style. So I started thinking I wanted my hair to be copper to fit in with the steampunk idea. Then I became concerned that it would clash with my complexion. I started thinking about auburn - but then realized that anything in the red family of hair colors would mean more careful selection of what colors I wear (the one advantage of mousy brown is it matches everything). I switched to going a dark chocolate brown, but that's not so exciting. Maybe with chunky blonde highlights, but the appointment isn't scheduled for two color things. Then I thought about the fact that every time I've ever given a stylist the option to color my hair anything they've made me blonde, so maybe I should do that. But I've been blonde, what I've always wanted to be was red. And thus the snake swallows its own tail.

Then I thought "Wait, I have the internets. I know many stylish people on LJ, or at least, they all have an opinion. Why not ask them?" So that's what I'm doing.

Here is a very blurry picture of me from yesterday so you can see my current hair color, taken with natural light.

Please tell me internets - what should I do?

View Poll: hair color?

LJ Idol week 2: uphill, both ways, barefoot

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 06:42:14 GMT

After college I did a year’s internship in Baltimore. It was as far south as I had ever lived, and I enjoyed the warmer fall and winter weather. Compared to the weather in my Wisconsin hometown, it was positively balmy. Then, in early January, it snowed.

It was a reasonable amount of snow -- about 7” by the time the storm was done. The city shut down and started digging themselves out, and I made extra money shoveling out the front of the theatre and the parking behind the actors’ housing. It was a fun day with the occasional snow ball fight mixed into the work; it felt like home.

But then the next day the schools and many businesses were still closed. Only half the streets were plowed, and most people hadn’t bothered to shovel their walks at all. On the fourth day, just about everything was STILL closed. This seemed truly bizarre. It had only been 7” of snow.

That night, as I was hanging out with some of the other interns, we started telling stories…

My senior year of high school, an early December day dawned slightly overcast and unusually warm. There were storm warnings and many schools in the area had closed just in case, but not mine. I walked the five blocks to school as usual that morning, dressed in only a sweater to take advantage of the nice weather.

During second period I looked out the windows and realized that it had started to snow – a lot. It was coming down in big heavy flakes and the ground was already white. The school was abuzz with the idea that we’d be getting out early. Finally the announcement came; the day would end at 11am.

My brother and I met up at Mom’s office after the last bell, hoping for a ride home, but she wasn’t sure when she could leave. That was when we found out that the school closure wasn’t going quite as planned. The owner of the busing company had made a decision; the roads were too bad. The buses weren’t moving.

Mom suggested that we each find friends who ordinarily bused home who might want to walk to our place, and asked us to call when we got there. Paul and I each found a few friends willing to brave the weather and we set out on the walk home.

By the time we got across the school parking lot we needed to stop, ducking behind a car. The wind was whipping the snow at us, stinging our hands and faces, and it was so strong we had to lean into it to move. Of course, we were all dressed for the mid 40 temperatures of the morning. We discussed going back, but decided that spending any extra time at school was too horrible to contemplate. So despite the cold wind and the snow, we pressed on, ducking behind parked cars, decorative hedges, trees, or anything we could find.

After taking 25 minutes to walk four blocks, we were within sight of our house; cold, wet, and aching. We were hiding behind the last wind break we’d see before our porch. At a signal from my brother we all took off, sprinting across the street and over the extended lawn. The snow was already ankle deep in some places and I could feel the snow seeping into my shoes. I stumbled at least once and fell to a knee, soaking my jeans. I got to my feet with the snow stinging my face and ran blindly for the door.

Paul got there first and unlocked the back door. We all stumbled into the house, and I answered the ringing phone. It was Mom, worried about us. She wasn’t going to be able to leave. Too many students were stuck at the school. She recommended towels and hot chocolate. We made sandwiches for lunch and settled in to find something decent on TV. The walk home that ordinarily took ten minutes tops had been just over a half hour.

The school buses never ran that day. It snowed 9” in seven hours, and continued blowing throughout the night. Parents who had vehicles that could make it to the school to pick up their children did, and everyone brought friends home with them. Not everyone made it out though. A dozen people had to spend the night at school.

As Baltimore continued to wait for warmer weather, those interns who were from more Southern climes were miserable, and tried hard to not step outside at all. I like to think I convinced them that it could have been worse, though.

@@@This is my entry for week 2 of LJ Idol - the topic is “uphill, both ways, barefoot”. I'll post a link to the poll once it is up on Friday. Thank you for reading.@@@

At least I had makeup on

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 05:15:37 GMT

My show this evening was supposed to have a 7:30 curtain.

Instead it began at 8:07.

The Bay Bridge broke yesterday evening, and we had warned the cast and crew about that for the trip home last night, and the trip in today. It is obviously huge news around here - bridges aren't supposed to break.

But one of the actors forgot. His typical commute is over the Golden Gate bridge, not the Bay, but traffic everywhere was a mess due to all the vehicles that were displaced. So he left his house at the usual time which would ordinarily have gotten him here at 6:30. He arrived at 8:05.

I spent a lot of time on the phone: with the actor to get updates on his progress, with the managing director about how long we could conceivably wait to start, with various other staff members to keep them updated. I got to make a curtain speech at 7:35, walking out onstage to tell the audience that we were very sorry, but we were anticipating tonight's curtain to be 8p. (Ordinarily I only make announcements over the God mic, but I kind of felt that asking people to hang out for 25 minutes required a face.)

Thankfully most of the audience stayed, and the show itself ran well. But really - he forgot? I just - gah. Only eight more shows.

bits - theatre edition

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:10:22 GMT

- My current show did extend, but it only added three shows. Luckily I only have one more two show day in the run. Of course, that is the day with a student matinee - whee. I'll be curious to see what high schoolers think of this one, there's no sex or cursing to keep them amused.

- On Sunday eight cell phones rang during the first act. Eight.

- The next show, A Civil War Christmas, is starting to ramp up, we had our first production meeting last week. I have been purposely ignoring this show for as long as possible, but I think that's done now.

- We don't have a final script for CWC yet. I think a lot of people have been waiting to get a more final script before diving in, but that means many folks are behind where they'd usually be. And of course the people who are up to date are getting frustrated at the changes that are happening. Good times.

- Oh and the one understudy I have for the current show was diagnosed with H1N1 flu last week. Thankfully he called in sick to the understudy rehearsal we were supposed to have last Wednesday, so he didn't come into contact with anyone else on the show while he was contagious.

costume?

Sat, 24 Oct 2009 05:11:53 GMT

I've been planning to dress up for Halloween, though not to put a whole lot of effort into it since I have a show that evening. I had been debating between my ren faire garb and a goth look. I mentioned that to anteka and she came up with the brilliant idea of doing goth ren faire. Which is awesome! My bodice is a deep green, that over all black would totally work.

So I've been putting an outfit together in my head all day. Mostly I was scheming about how to get a full black skirt by next weekend; I thought I could reasonably pull the rest of the look together out of my closet. Late this afternoon I pulled out my ren bodice to take a look at it and see if there was anything I would want to do to it for the costume.

With the ren bodice in my hands I realized that I bought it nine years ago, and probably haven't worn it in at least six. This realization was caused by the size tags in the back which read "small petite". Yeah, I haven't been small petite in anything for years. Sigh.

But now I'm in love with this idea, so I'm going to call a friend who can hopefully either hook me up with a source for ren garb away from the faire, or might be willing to loan me a bodice for a night. I've got a week, we'll see what I come up with.

bits

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:37:45 GMT

- I seem to be getting back into a rhythm of exercising most days. This is exciting to me, and the fit of my pants.

- My breast is still sore from the medical machinations of Tuesday. This morning J and I were cuddling before getting out of bed, and I flinched away from him after he brushed his hand past my right side. He apologized and expressed his desire for me to heal up quickly because "that's my squeezing breast."

- It is voting time for week 1 of therealljidol . The polls can be found here: community.livejournal.com/therealljidol/261793.html
I am in the third tribe on the page, named after lady_hoshi . If you have time you should read more of the entries, there are links to all of them in the polls and some are pretty amazing. Remember you can vote for as many as you want.

- Now I am going to cook lunch. Cook as in actually chop things up and use more than one pan to create a meal. This is a serious rarity in my world these days.

bits

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:48:48 GMT

- I saw a rainbow yesterday. It was a full arch, with all of the colors showing and it was beautiful.

- I also went to a yoga class yesterday, for the first time in about 6 months. Ouch.

- The show I'm working on extended. That is great for the company and means that it is selling well. But for me it means that once again I'll be closing a show on Sunday and have my first rehearsal for the next show on that Monday. Craziness.

- Klutz had offered me the warehouse job for the holidays again, but with another show coming up I couldn't take it. I did mention that I could work 3/4 time or so in December once I got the show open and gave them my availability, figuring there was no way they'd want someone with a schedule as wacked as mine. But I was wrong. Someone who was already trained who could step in just as they get busy is more cost effective than someone they'd have to train in. So as of Nov 30 I'll be working two jobs for the month of December. This is mostly insane, though having offered the time to Klutz I don't want to take it back. I'm hoping that since the warehouse and stage managing use really different parts of my brain that while I'll be physically exhausted no matter what, that the two different jobs will balance out in my brain and keep me calm. We'll see.

- I went to see Dr. N for my breast today. We chatted some about my thyroid after care while he took down my history and did an ultrasound of my breast. He went ahead and drained the cysts - which are apparently two cysts side by side instead of one complex cyst. (Yay for the fact that a local anesthetic was involved with this, boo for the moment when I opened my eyes to see a needle sticking out of my breast unsupported while Dr. N was doing something with the ultrasound machine.) There was blood in the fluid, though it's hard to say if it came from inside the cysts or not. If it was from inside, that's not the best sign. In any case I have another appointment in a month. If the cyst comes back - I can't feel it now that it's drained - then the next step is a core biopsy to get some of the tissue to look at. If it stays gone, then I should be done.

- Lately I've been in the habit of rereading books instead of picking up something new. I go through a phase of that periodically, I wonder why.

- I got to attend about 45 minutes of my friend's babyshower on Sunday, and her sister was there doing henna tattoos. This is something I should consider getting the materials for and doing myself, I always adore the way it looks.

- J and I mostly caught up on TV last night, and the fact that Fox is showing baseball a lot for the next two weeks means we should stay on top of things for a little while.

LJ Idol week 1 "empty gestures"

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:16:57 GMT

Several years ago I worked on a production of the musical Ragtime. The show is huge; our production had a cast of 28, and a crew of at least that many. With a show that big I was always a step, or several, behind. While organizing something that complex is fun, it’s also exhausting and made me cranky much of the time. Very few things could make me smile with any regularity during that process.

One of the songs in Act II is titled “What a Game”. Father, who is very upper class, decides to bring his son to a baseball game as a way to avoid having a more serious talk with him about race relations. It all begins much as Father expects it to; a gentlemanly afternoon of sport.

UMPIRE Play ball!

GIANTS FANS Ain’t this the kind of weather

BRAVES FANS For smackin’ leather,

ALL For playin’ baseball

But then the experience takes a turn in a somewhat coarser direction.

FAN #1 Let’s go, you sons o’bitches!

FAN #2 Let’s see some pitches!

ALL Let’s play some baseball

BRAVES FANS The Giants haven’t got a prayer

GIANTS FANS Aah, yer underwear!

BRAVES FANS Up yer alley!

ALL Go back to where yer mother once came!

At this point in the song there is a stage direction that reads ‘rude gestures’. However, it was written in the score with markings on the staff that seemed to indicate it should be spoken rhythmically. So once the cast had learned the basic harmony in the song, that’s what they did every time we practiced the number.

ALL Go back to where yer mother once came! Rude Ges-tures!

This, of course, was accompanied by all the rude gestures they could think of. It was a lot of fun. Depending on the intricacy of the gestures, it always made me smile, if not laugh out loud. I was grateful for the silliness in the middle of an otherwise stressful show.

Once we got onstage though, things changed. We had to get ready for our first audience, and that meant no more chanting ‘Rude Ges-tures!’ Since our director didn’t want to offend the audience any more than necessary, it also meant the cast needed to tone down the physical gestures. So we ended up with a lot of fist shaking and hat waving. One person even adopted the very Shakespearean biting of his thumb. The song was still fun, and audiences loved it, but it lost a bit of spark without the shouted ‘Rude Ges-tures!’ and the cast’s inventive ways of giving each other the finger. The silly joy was missing and the song became just another piece of a large and intricate show.

For the crew though, as we continued to deal with the complexities of the show during the run, that silliness would never go away completely. We adopted the ‘Rude Ges-tures!’ and all whispered it at the right time, along with whatever gesture people could come up with. Of course those gestures started to be as rude as possible and have nothing whatsoever to do with the scene onstage, unless miming motorboating a woman’s breasts has some baseball significance I missed. The joy of ‘Rude Ges-tures!’ was still alive for us. But the audience missed out.

@@@This is my entry for week 1 of LJ Idol - the topic is “empty gestures”. I'll post a link to the poll once it is up, probably next Wednesday. Thank you for reading.@@@

odd realizations

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:51:24 GMT

I have no style.

That may be harsh. I have a sense of style, yet I don't seem to apply it to my wardrobe/hair/makeup at all. Mostly I wear jeans and t-shirts, with the only excitement being whether the shirts are long or short sleeved, or have a graphic of some sort. I tend to wear minimal makeup and most of what I do with my hair is about getting it out of the way. Over the past few months, this has become bothersome to me.

Several things have led up to this point. Before the move this summer I spent time cleaning out my closets of the things I don't wear, and realized that it was a decent chunk of what I owned. Due to technical issues our closet currently doesn't have doors so I can see all my clothes all the time and I've realized what a mish-mash they are, there's no cohesion to anything. I also was watching a lot of 'What Not to Wear' this summer for background noise, and of course 'Project Runway' is back now. And I just finished reading the book Gothic Charm School by Jillian Venters. I've always been attracted to the goth look, and even dressed up that way for Halloween for a few years. In general I've always been attracted to more extreme personal looks, but have always felt like I don't have the right to do that; somehow on me it would be playing dress up instead of a style. But then, I've always liked how I felt inside the look few times I've tried things out.

So I'm thinking of doing a major overhaul to my personal style. This obviously wouldn't happen overnight, both the time and money factors require this to be a drawn out process. I tend to lean towards the Victorian style of goth and Steampunk which I think overlap in fun ways. I was trying to figure out how to do this yesterday and realized that if I bought new pieces that fit the theme, I could slowly phase my current wardrobe out. Honestly, I'll probably still end up in pants regularly, but maybe it could be slacks instead of jeans, with a button down shirt and cool vest and my hair pulled back into a snood. I have a color palette in my head of mostly browns, blacks, and grays with the occasional bright color thrown in. I'd be aiming for a style that mostly wasn't noticeable as a specific label, but that would have a few specific fabulous pieces for those dress up occasions that would be unmistakable.

But here's the biggest question in my brain - Am I being ridiculous? I'm 36, and while I certainly don't believe that only 20somethings can make statements with their wardrobe am I starting way too late? Can I own this without looking like I'm playing dress up? (I do know the only appropriate response to that question is 'I don't know, can you?') I'm excited by the idea, but a little afraid of the execution. And I know me well enough to be a little concerned about my ability to follow through, though shopping with a specific look in mind might actually be easier.

Have any of you ever tried to overhaul your style?

LJ Idol week 0: introduction

Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:24:29 GMT

Introductions tend to follow a certain pattern. People trade names, shake hands, and make polite small talk. I tend to ask a lot of questions when I meet someone new, both because I am curious about people in general, and because it’s more fun than talking about me. After all, I know all about myself already. I’d much rather hear about you.

But then, you probably feel the same way. So it’s only fair for me to give you at least some information. I am a 36 year old female living with my boyfriend in the Bay Area of California. I work as a stage manager for a regional theatre company. I believe vodka makes nearly everything better. My hobbies include reading, watching too much TV, knitting, running, and making lists. I think the world would be a better place if we were all just nicer to each other. Well, and if we occasionally broke out into carefully choreographed song and dance numbers in the park.

And this is my favorite joke.

Q: What’s green and sits in the corner?

A: A naughty frog.

More accurately, it's my favorite clean joke. I don't know you quite well enough yet to tell my favorite dirty joke. But I'm sure we'll get there.

@@@This is my entry for week 0 of LJ Idol - the topic is ‘introduction’.@@@

Announcement

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 22:08:52 GMT

After much pondering I have decided to once again throw my hat into the ring for therealljidol . But I'll need the hat back. I only have one I really like.

This is the same writing competition I participated in last fall/winter. I enjoyed the challenge of writing to a weekly prompt, met some fabulous people, and managed to avoid most of the drama. We'll see what this year brings.

~~~~
Also, have you ever noticed that the singles you get as change from the 7-11 seem much more well-loved than the singles from most other places? I stopped to get milk last night and just touching my change made me feel a little dirty.

bits

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 21:42:29 GMT

- For some reason this tech/preview week I have a lot less coping ability than usual. My nerves are a lot closer to the surface, my patience reserves are nearly depleted, and my zen is hiding under a rock. I've been randomly close to tears a few times which makes very little sense. I'm holding on, but if anyone has spare cope to mindwave to me I'd appreciate it.

- I am sad the Packers lost last night, but I need to point out that Aaron Rodgers played really well despite being sacked eight times. I think the game was less a battle of quaterbacks and more a battle of offensive lines, and ours is clearly hurting. Also, the Vikings are damn good. If they play like that all season I'm not sure anyone can beat them.

- It's opening on Saturday and at the moment I am hugely unexcited about wearing any of the dress-up clothes I own, and I don't want to shop for anything new since I'm a bit heavier than I prefer. Maybe I'll just stick to jeans for the night.

- I did walk both yesterday and today.

- J baked maple cinnamon rolls on Saturday night, and made chicken enchiladas on Sunday. In case anyone has forgotten, he is totally awesome, and the leftovers are making me happy.

- I did a small flist cut yesterday, mostly of folks who haven't posted in ages. If I cut anyone who was still reading, please let me know.

October resolutions

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:18:32 GMT

It is officially time for me to get off my ass and start moving again. This summer was understandably not a time of running or moving at all, between the medical stuff and the move any routine I had built up is completely gone. But my clothes are not fitting well, I feel generally sluggish, and I stepped on the scale this morning - ouch!

So it is time to begin. Again. I went for a long walk in the morning before leaving for the theatre three days this week. I plan to stick with walking for another week, and then step up to running again.

I know I do better when I have a goal race to train for so I've been looking at half-marathons to run in the end of January / early February. There's nothing close to me, but I've found one race in San Diego and one in Sedona. AZ that fit the time frame. And either of those places would be fun to visit for a mini-vacation, so a longer weekend could be built around me racing. It still feels silly to travel and pay for a hotel so I can run, but if it gets me off my butt it would be worth it. (Also since I'm working non-stop until the end of December I will be ready for a vacation, and should even have some extra cash to pay for it.)

The plan for a race at the end of January may be overly ambitious; I'm hoping my body remembers the years of running and this isn't as hard as I'm afraid it may be. But where ever I end up eventually it is time to start again.

bits

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:43:48 GMT

- My day at work yesterday began at 9:30am and ended at 10:45pm, with assorted ten minute breaks and 30 minutes free for dinner. Ah tech, how I've missed you.

- I can't decide yet what I think of this cast. They each have had moments of being kind and friendly and perceptive, and also moments of condescension and idiocy and selfishness. (They're people, who knew?) But it's frequently the same person, and within the same conversation. I think they're all very talented, but I don't really want to be friends, or even just hang out on a break, with any of them. After the last cast was so awesome, this is disappointing.

- I am starting to notice a few grey hairs at my temple every time I put my hair up. I'm okay with this, especially if I go grey like my Auntie Yvonne (my mom's sister, so there's a chance). It keeps catching my eye, and I wonder if the grey is going to keep creeping in or if it's going to come quickly.

- All the new TV has started just in time for me to have no time to watch TV. I'm going to have to prioritize what I see and what waits until the show opens. (Thursday nights are going to be a bitch.) It also means I have to skip a lot of people's TV posts here, which always makes me sad.

- J bought season 1 of '30Rock' over the weekend just because, and we've been marathoning it with our house guest. It's been fun watching other people discover a show I enjoy so much.

bits and stuff

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 21:00:19 GMT

- I have a new theatre story. During the "Yellow Face" student matinee the sound board died dead midway through Act II. So for the final 30 minutes of the show we only had whatever I could do over the god mic - a few voiceover announcements, testing a cell phone ring tone, saying "beep" while trying to sound like an answering machine. It made for a very interesting afternoon.

- YF closed last weekend. I really liked that show, and the cast and crew; it's been a long time since I was sad to see a show end. I would happily have run it for a few more weeks. Of course jumping into a new show the next day meant there wasn't a whole lot of time to miss anyone or to mourn the show.

- I am now almost a week into "The Chosen" which is based on the book of the same name by Chaim Potok. Missing the first week of rehearsal was strange. Things were done differently than I would do them for a week (which isn't necessarily bad), so I feel like I'm trying to catch up to everyone else. I also don't know the show as well as I would like yet, and my assistant is really smart but new to this kind of theatre which makes things a bit more difficult.

- All stage managers are obsessive/compulsive to a certain degree about our paperwork or the way we do certain things. Having someone else do the first week of rehearsal pointed out to me that I am way more O/C than I thought I was. I didn't re-write all the blocking, but I actually considered it.

- We have a house guest arriving tonight for the next two weeks. I am excited to see C, but concerned about my home feeling different. This is a bit ridiculous since J & C were roomates until this summer, and I was on their turf all the time.

- I have not started running again yet. Blech.

- But my hands have stopped peeling!

- I have felt generally meh for a few days. I'm not sure what is causing it, though I have several theories. I think if I could just hibernate for a week I'd be fine, but that's not going to happen.

- Yay for new TV! I am enjoying "Glee!" a lot, and the first episode of "Flash Forward" was action-packed and intriguing. Those are the only two new shows I've added this fall; I tried the first episode of NCIS:LA but I don't think that one is going to stay on my list.

- J has finally caught up to SPN and we're now watching it together on Thursday nights. It's a little weird, but fun, to have someone to watch the show with. I find myself being a bit careful about jumping out of my seat or yelling at the tv now that someone can see me.

happiness

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:41:14 GMT

I owe posts about work stuff and health stuff but I don't quite have enough brain to wrap around that right now. The short version: I really like the show I am doing right now ("Yellow Face"), have picked up another show that fits into the time off I had so I'll be working non-stop from now until New Year's, the results of my post-radioactive scan were all negative for cancer markers, and my tsh is currently .35.

But really I am posting today because in my world 09-09 has always had meaning, even when it wasn't tripled. Today is my parent's anniversary. They've been married for 37 years today despite some early surprises (the wedding was supposed to be the following April, but then I was born in January) and bumps in the road. I've heard my parents fight and watched them slow dance, and generally discovered in their example that relationships take communication and care but that they are worth it.

I am grateful to be their daughter.

I do not think that means what you think it means

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:46:05 GMT

There is a moment in the show I'm working on (that opens tonight) at the end of act I when small gold mylar discs rain down from the sky. The discs are about 3/4" in diameter and you can feel them if they land on you, but they don't hurt. This director is overly fond of dropping things from the sky, but I have to admit this one looks pretty damn cool.

The director keeps referring to it as the "gold shower".

I giggle every time. No, the director has no idea of the other meaning of that phrase.

And as I explained to the light board op yesterday, I'm certainly not going to correct him. It's way too much fun to giggle at him instead.

serendipity

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:47:57 GMT

I woke up this morning to a loud car alarm that no one was turning off. I grumbled and rolled over to look at the clock, to see what time it was and how much sleep I could still get. The car alarm stopped just as I pulled on my glasses to double check the time: 7:51. My alarm was set for 7:45, but I suddenly realized I hadn't turned it on last night before I went to sleep.

So thank you universe for sending a loud, never-ending, car alarm to wake me up. Sorry to everyone else who may have been annoyed by it.

DBaD

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:37:09 GMT

I discovered something about myself last week that was a little unsettling.

Most of the people on staff at TW or in rehearsal don't know about my recent medical adventures. I didn't want every single person I work with to have a stake in my health, or have to answer questions to start every conversation. I am guessing it's a pretty open secret given the scar*, and that some people do know, but I have been grateful that I've been able to guard my privacy.

But in dealing with people last week I discovered something not so attractive about myself. I wanted everyone to cut me slack for my medical issues, even though most people didn't know about them, and I still didn't want to tell them. It's completely unrealistic, and rather self-centered. I wanted everyone to just sense that I had recently had a hard time and adjust.

It makes me wonder how many people walk around with some major issues happening in their life that we don't know about, wishing that someone would just cut them some slack. It makes me think that I should probably try to cut everyone slack, all the time.

Which leads wonderfully into this post I've seen linked by several of my friends today by fragbert: fragbert.livejournal.com/442522.html

And I am grateful for every one of you here, and the support you've provided.

*I still think the scar is impossible to miss, and I expect most people to notice it and maybe ask. Most people don't ask, whether or not that means they don't notice, I can't say. Those folks that have asked are luckily all people I am close enough to and trust enough to tell. So far no one has asked that I don't feel comfortable telling, that will be an interesting bridge to cross if it happens.

bits and pieces

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 17:33:03 GMT

- Rehearsals have begun. They come with the usual frustrations, which I don't feel like listing anymore. The play itself is awesome, and so far I'm really enjoying this cast so hopefully it will all balance out.

- I can't tell at all what is going on with my thyroid levels now. I'm being careful to sleep at least eight hours a night now that rehearsals have started, but I can't tell if the low energy is my levels being off or just my being out of practice at actually working.

- I am nervous about what will happen next week when I go off the T3 hormone and am just relying on the T4. It's tech week, so it would be a sucky time to have my hormones do new things.

- At the movies last night I saw the preview for "Nine" the musical. I sang along to "Be Italian", gasped as each new female face hit the screen (oh, the cast), and I cannot wait for this movie to arrive. J pointed out that there is another movie called "9" coming out this fall which might be confusing. I have a feeling the Venn diagram crossover for musical theatre and animated steampunk isn't so huge, but I am smack in the middle and hugely excited about both movies.

- Last weekend we got a few more bookshelves and so the pile of things still to be unpacked is very small. It's also pretty much all mine, and is likely going to stay a pile until September after this show opens.

- I've been watching reruns of "What Not to Wear" on TLC as my brainless TV and it is making me want to redo my wardrobe. Or at the very least get a rid of a few things before anyone could make fun of them. it is interesting though, that in most of the episodes I've seen the makeoveree is really attractive and has a great body type.

- The post office has yet to forward any of my magazines or catalogs, though the mail seems to be coming through fine. I think my old mail carrier is taking my EW for himself.

- The scar has gotten really itchy again. J pointed out that it was an incision through lots of layers so there's lots of healing to be done, but it is really disconcerting.

- Living with J is awesome. Having a roommate who actually cleans anything at all is exciting all on its own, but this is really good. Yay!

- I'm still not running again, I figured I had better be sure I can get through work before I add any active play. I'm thinking it'll be another week or two. I feel flabbier than I was, but the scale is staying the same, which means I'm probably losing muscle. That is no good.

stuff and nonsense

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:38:58 GMT

- I didn't get any special powers from the RAI; I didn't even glow. Ah, well.

- I am back on hormone medication and have noticed one immediate difference, already I'm not so cold all the time. (For the last week I was sleeping in sweat pants, socks, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt and usually needed extra blankets. Last night just a tank top and pajama pants.) My energy level is still low, but at least I know things are happening.

- The isolation part is really weird. I don't like saying goodnight to J and then sleeping in different rooms, and the touching restrictions for the first three days were uber-difficult. Now there can be hugs again and it's better, but it still feels strange - like we moved in together and then immediately had to be less close. Actually it's been that way a bit all summer because of my surgeries and the being off meds; we've been on really different sleep schedules ever since we were in one place. There is supposed to be a honeymoon phase in here that we jumped right over. I'm hoping that as my levels get back to something close to normal we might be able to back up and still have that.

- The other part about needing to stay away from people is how sedentary I've been this week. I could be going for walks or doing stretches in the apartment but it's a lot easier to just sit. I've been trying to figure out if the half-marathon I had originally planned to do in Oct is still possible (the summer one was yesterday) and I really can't tell. It depends a lot on how quickly I can come back. I ran 8 miles on the Tuesday before the first surgery, I have run a total of 9 miles since then (about two months).

- Rehearsals start a week from tomorrow for my next show. I'm mostly still in denial about this one.

- On Saturday J moved boxes around and I vacuumed, then we set up all of the new bookshelves we had bought last weekend. We filled the shelves we have and will need to get at least two and probably three more, which we knew already. But having books out and on shelves is awesome, even if it's not all of them yet. It makes this feel more like home. We're also getting rid of doubles. That scares me a little even if it does make sense, this living together thing hasn't ever lasted a whole year in my past. But I am different now, and J is very different from the other guys, and there's no reason to anticipate failure, right?

- In TV land we made a decision to upgrade one series II TiVo, and discontinue the other in favor of the Comcast DVR so that we could (hopefully) get the best of both worlds. I had BBC America for four days which turns out to be annoying because I now have only four episodes of Torchwood on the DVR. If I wasn't supposed to get the channel it would have been much kinder to simply not ever give me the channel. Grrrr.

- I've got two more days of needing to be arms length away from people. I do need to go to the bank and the post office but that shouldn't be a big deal. I'm looking forward to restaurants and movies being options again. Or just cuddling with J on the couch.