Rebecca (beeker121) wrote,
Rebecca
beeker121

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LJ Idol week 8: "Sit down and shut up - ranting LJ style"

Hey, sit down. Yes, we’re talking, now shut up and listen. We're tired of hanging out on the side of your room ignored. It’s been months. You step over us every day and still no love. Fine, you haven't put us away in the dark bin in the closet with the others, so that’s something. At least you still see us regularly, but obviously our mere presence isn't enough to convince you to do anything.  For the love of all that is holy would you please just knit!

*Mumble*

That is no excuse.  Alright sure the sock/hat yarn can hang out for awhile, since by its very definition you can't figure out what to do with it.  And the fabulous bright green fuzzy yarn you bought because it was cool and on sale?  It will take some time to figure out what to do with it so you don't look like you’re wearing a skinned Muppet.  It’s a delicate problem and we appreciate you taking the time to think things through. But what about the rest of us?  You bought us with a specific sweater pattern in mind. You got the right amount of yarn for your size, with an extra skein for possible mishaps.  You even bought the yarn the pattern was created for and you never do that!  What could possibly be holding you up?

*Momble*

Swatching is boring?  Boo-hoo, if you want to make a sweater that actually fits than it’s important. Besides if you don’t want to swatch then what about the fingerless gloves in the other room?  You know the bag: with the yarn, needles, pattern, and extras all put together just waiting for you? The project that is already swatched?  There is no reason not to start those.  They can be a gateway project, leading you back to full time knitting!

*Mimble*

Yes the gloves are knitted in the round – but you make socks!  You understand knitting in the round.  Sure the half-fingers are small and there are lots of them so it will be futzy but you can do it.  Hell, you even bought the answer book your friend had so you could learn the trick she used for her gloves.  You have no valid excuses.

*Mumble-umble*

Not enough time?  You're only working 40 hours a week right now. For you that’s practically a vacation. And you have weekends.  What else can you possibly be spending your time on? Well... I’m waiting.

 

*memble*

TV?  Turn that off.  Besides, once you learn the pattern (any pattern) you'll be able to knit and watch at the same time.  That’s even efficient. No excuse. Oh, and you want to spend time with your boyfriend?   Knit him a sweater**.  Heh heh - two birds, one stone. Problem solved.

What else could there possibly be?

*Wumble*

LJ Idol?  We can take that bitch.  It is on!

 

 
** For the non-knitters in the crowd supposedly if you knit your boyfriend a sweater, you will break up soon after it is finished. 


 

@@@This is my entry for week 8 of LJ Idol – the topic is Ranting LJ style.  I do intend to pick up my knitting again very soon, to protect all my new LJ Idol friends if nothing else. Besides if the yarn gets too riled it’ll tie itself in knots. As always, I'll post a link to the poll on Friday once it is up.  Thank you for reading.@@@

 

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Tags: inanimate objects speak, knitting, lj idol
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