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LJ Idol week 8: reprobate
beeker
beeker121
There were always ten. They were marked with sigils burned into their foreheads, their chests, and their forearms. They stayed in the dark places, because though no one wanted anything to do with them, they weren’t allowed to leave.

The religion of the village taught that God had planned the world from its glorious beginning to its needful end. Everything had been accounted for and lovingly crafted by God. The saved had been on the rolls of the saved for all eternity. The damned had likewise always been damned.

Generations ago, the villagers began to abandon ten of their own to the fires, and mark them so there could be no mistake. Those marked were the damned -- cast out and forgotten, nameless, the reprobate. The rest of the village could live content, knowing that heaven waited for them with open arms. The quota for hell had been filled.

When it was necessary to replace one of the ten, all of the ten-year-olds in the village were gathered. Each spoke to the priest individually, and then the priest performed a (private) ceremony where the name of the chosen child was revealed to him. He would walk out into the square with terrible solemnity and say the child’s name aloud for the last time.

(The holiest among them worried that ten was not enough. The tithe was set when the village was much smaller, and ten was a goodly number. Now it was possible not to know the child, or their family’s name. But they looked at their neighbors and their own children, and couldn’t bring themselves to speak.)

The chosen child was branded and cast out. They rarely lived more than a dozen years. Sometimes they slipped into the wilderness around the village and simply disappeared. (After three months they were declared gone, and a replacement was chosen.)  Some simply couldn’t survive in isolation. Some became great difficulties for the village, for if you’re already damned, what is there you cannot do? The village bore the wild ones as best they could; knowing that it was part of their sacrifice.

The one who had been Thomas was different. He was nearly 30 years old, and lived quietly in a clearing near the village. When he was cast out a similarly marked teenage boy had explained the rules they now lived under, and taught him to hunt and care for himself. The Man saw grace in that action, which confused him mightily for years. He had been a pious child, and knew that it was right that some be damned so others could be saved. But how could a damned man, for whom there was no hope, be so kind? The Man began to doubt.

The Man followed the rules, showing himself to the village once a week so they knew he was still present, still bearing their burden. But he also took in those newly marked, and taught them what he could. He hunted well, and left meat for his parents and the priest. He tried to be the best person he could possibly be under the circumstances. And the doubt that had begun years before grew in his heart.

After all, the choices of men are not the choices of God. Are they?


@@@This is my entry for week 8 of LJ Idol - the topic is “reprobate”. I will post a link to the poll once it is up on Sunday. Thank you for reading.@@@
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Wow. I had to reread this several times, and will perhaps have to read it several more. But this is intriguing, and deeply thought-provoking. I love it.

I've realized that this is the beginning of a larger story in my head, that kind of popped into place two nights ago. I'm nervous about it being confusing, because I know more than what's written. Thanks so much for your kind words, they reduce the nerves a little.

I *really* enjoyed this, and it definitely has the makings of a larger story.

Interesting take on the topic. I like the fact that one person survives and learns to question his fate.

Thank you. Honestly the final line was one of the first things I wrote down.

Fantastic! I love what you did here! :)

This sounds like an interesting story - I'd like to see more. :)

Thanks. My boyfriend is working to convince me that I need to make this a full out short story, we'll see.

That was really beautifully written ... I want more :)

Thank you so much. Enough folks are saying they want more that I may just have to tackle the short story version of this.

Very good entry. I would love to see this turned into a larger story. It is exactly the type of fiction I like to read. Good job!

Thanks so much. I may have to try turning this into something longer, once I've had time to sleep.

Quite thought-provoking. It reminds me of the short story "Those Who Walk Away from Omelas", but don't remember the author. The question of this sort of destiny always makes my mind run about in unusual directions. Well-written. I enjoyed the P.o.v.

Thank you so much. I will have to look for the short story, though I may wait for awhile since I'm thinking of expanding this myself.

Really, really nicely done. Very well written and very thought-provoking. I like this one a lot.

Thank you. I'm glad I pulled this one off. I should also praise my boyfriend's editing skills, he makes me look good.

Such an intriguing idea, and I too want to read more about this man and this village. It's such a powerful beginning.

Thank you so much. I think I'm going to have to come back this world (after I've had a few days off in a row) and see what I can make of it.

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Thanks. I don't know if I'll be able to expand on it in LJ Idol, I can't imagine too many other prompts that might fit here. But you never know.

This is an awesome story and definitely needs more. It reminds me of a story that I believe was made into a movie where someone from the village was chosen each year to be stoned to death in order to keep the rest of the village healthy and happy. This has that same feel to it...very chilling yet makes a reader want more.

Thanks. I haven't seen that movie, I may need to hunt it down.

I second what everyone else has written, a really good entry.