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- The show is open!  This one is fun to call and I have to stay focused, if my mind wanders at all cues sneak up on me.  I am enjoying this cast more now that we're past tech which pretty much always happens.  I also received several compliments through tech and previews which were specific enough to be believable and entirely sweet.  Part of the difficulty in thinking about maybe leaving this job is the fact that I'm good at it.

- D&D last night and our characters are up to level 11 which means they can do some really cool stuff.  I can't believe we've kept this group going for more than a year, it's fun.

- I had a great six mile run yesterday, I made good time and felt really strong.  Back home I was just stepping into the shower when I realized I forgot something so I attempted to reverse direction quickly before I got too wet.  My balance wasn't good and I banged my left instep on the metal framing for the door.  It's bruised so I've been icing it, taking ibuprofen, and keeping it elevated.  I had grand plans of really recommitting to my exercise this week and now this.  Also, hurting myself climbing out of the shower makes me feel old.

- This month's 'Runner's World' is a special issue subtitled 'Outrunning Cancer'.  This is a little weird for me.
See, officially, I am a cancer survivor, which I think most of you know.  I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer on June 2, 2009.  At this time two years ago I had just gotten home from the hospital after the second surgery and was feeling hugely fragile.  These days, no one notices my scar unless I point it out (though I still think it glows neon) and there's no indication that I've ever been sick.  I was lucky that my treatment was straightforward and went well, so I always feel a little strange saying 'I had cancer' in a serious conversation because I didn't have to go through chemo, and I didn't lose all my hair; it was two months from diagnosis to remission for me.  But, you know, it was still cancer.  I still have to go through extra tests once a year for the rest of my life.  I just won't win a head-to-head cancer-off, most of the time.  It makes me realize how weird my relationship to the disease still is, since I regularly swing from feeling like it wasn't such a big deal to occasionally wanting to shout it from the rooftops.

It is interesting that my chosen 'sport'  running has interrelated itself with the disease, whether through Team-in-Training or other fund raising organizations, or seeing survivors in the starting corrals wearing t-shirts saying "I beat.." whatever it is they had.  Mostly I keep my mouth shut, and engage with other folks based on what they're putting out there.  The whole thing is strange, it's just part of my reality now so it doesn't feel like it needs capitol letters or whispers anymore, but I find myself biting my tongue if I'm about to throw it into casual conversation.  So far, I find myself avoiding my magazine this month, though I'm sure I'll eventually read through it cover to cover as I usually do.

- I am back at the theater that is a 20 mile commute from my apartment.  This means that if I leave at 3:30 I'm there in 25 minutes or so, 4:00 is a 40 min drive, and 4:30 or later is an hour.  So I leave early and then kill time at the other end.  I have books to read and TV to watch, but does anyone have a suggestion for something I just have to check out?

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It's hard to leave something you're good at. And that at one time you did love. I bet there's still a little sniggling of that love for the theater buried somewhere in the back of your mind.

I didn't know that you are a cancer survivor since I'm a recent addition to your flist. I am really glad to hear you beat that nasty disease. You should never hesitate to shout it from the rooftops because that's something that is pure awesomeness.

Feeling appreciated at my current job changes things too, usually people don't bother to say anything so it's been nice. Doesn't change the major issues though.

I realized as I was writing this that a lot of folks have come into my flist since then and wouldn't have known, especially since I made a pact with myself to not write about it for Idol. Mostly it's just there, but between the diagnosis anniversary and the magazine I'm all thinky about it again. Thanks for the kind words.

I don't really think there's a meter or measurement of How Much Cancer Did You Really Survive Anyway? Don't downplay your experiences and don't keep yourself from people and things you enjoy/who may really need to know you.

Gah. I hope that comes out right.

You kicked cancer's ass and you did it strongly and swiftly and surely.

Hugs to you.

That makes perfect sense, even if I do occasionally think there is a meter and I'm not registering on it. Heh.

The whole thing is just weird and twisty. Hugs back, and thanks for commenting.

Oh man, you're just like me. I would be the same way. "Yeah, I had cancer. Sort of. Pretty much. It was all right, and now it's gone." DOES THAT COUNT?

(It counts.)

As far as books and TV, may I recommend Breaking Bad and Sherlock? And Deadline! It is out! Release party at Borderlands on Saturday!

Exactly. It was kind of a thing but now, meh. Or not, or something.

I know it counts, I just talk myself out of it sometimes. I'm glad to know it's not just me.

Oooh Sherlock is already on my netflix list to watch, I may have to jump it up. I am being the best girlfriend in the world and letting J read Deadline first, but as soon as he's done I'm on it! Sadly I have a show on Saturday (I'm so over that as a reason to miss things.)

I didn't know either. Very glad to hear it wasn't the sort that would win you a cancer-off!

What sort of books do you like?

That is a good way of looking at it, better to be healthy than win, I suppose.

I read a lot of fantasy and sci-fi, and mysteries. But I'll read just about anything and am always looking for new authors to try.

The His Dark Materials trilogy by Philip Pullman is awesome. I also recently enjoyed Florence and Giles by John Harding and loved it to pieces. I read mostly YA stuff so I'm always kind of bad at making recommendations... Down to Earth by Melanie Rose was another recent read that was very good, although it was a bit more chick-lit-y than I generally care for.

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