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start of rehearsals
buffy rip lungs out
Rehearsals start this afternoon for my next show.  I feel like I'm about to go into battle:  nearly everyone is behind (which always effects stg mgmt), I have a new assistant who has conflicts for the first week and a half, there are young kids in the show and a lot more of the responsibility for their schedules has been given to me, we got the script with the correct character assignments yesterday.  Right now, I'm anticipating the type of experience that makes you say - "wow, I never need to do that again".

But I'm there.  I've signed the contract, the only way out is through, stuff like that.  I know myself well enough to know that I could dissolve into a horribly unpleasant person throughout all this so I am setting three goals/rules for myself.

1) I'm bringing back 30 days of gratitude.  I open Dec 3 which is exactly 30 days away and making myself think at least one good thought every day seems needful.  I will be doing that here, not on any set schedule except once a day (defined as before I go to bed).  If I miss a few days please poke me. 

2) I get to complain to J (and maybe here) about one thing each day.  Even if 12 things go horribly wrong the idea is to not bring the full dozen home to spew all over my lovely boyfriend.  Hopefully this will also speed my letting go of the other 11 things.

3) (with thanks to something popfiend posted recently) Be the grown up.  Some incredibly stupid things have already happened, where it would be easy to get into a snitty fight, or pointedly point out the stupid, or flounce.  (Example, sending me an email asking me to send someone else an email.  Because the person wasn't sitting at their computer typing at that very moment, and also I wasn't the one with a question, they just disagreed with me?  Ok, breathing.)  But it's better if someone is the grown up, so I'm going to work very hard on being that person.

That's the plan.  I'm about to be back in front of a computer most of the day, though busy.  I'll have AIM on for those who know it, but it's usually buried behind several windows so please don't be offended if I don't see you pop up.


***Also between the illness and getting this thing ready to go I haven't read much of my flist for the last week.  I'm skimming along, but if I missed anything I absolutely need to know please point me at it.  And thanks in advance for being marvelous, attractive people.***

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I think those are very good, very reasonable goals for yourself. This production definitely sounds like it is going to be challenging for you on a lot of fronts. Hang in there and you can and will get through it. Break a leg!

Thanks. Every time I think about the whole thing I start to shut down a little in fear, I just need to keep chipping away at the thing in front of me.

Three great, definitely attainable goals. Will you be able to knit at all during the run once the show is up?

(not to enable, but ... oy child actors)

I might be able to knit when I get to the theater and I'm the only one there, but not during this show.

oy child actors indeed. I have a feeling our issue this time is going to be some kids who are very savvy about filmic things, but not so much the stage. And they're really young: last year the kids were 13-16, this year they're 11-13. I don't think the director really understands how different that is.

haha, sometimes J and I do "2 minutes" if I have a lot to complain about (or the rare times he has a lot to complain about, but he lets go of things much easier than I do). So we get 2 minutes to spew out every horrible/annoying thing that day and then let it go and make it be over.

Oooh that's really smart too. I just wanted a limit of some kind so I didn't come home and bitch for 30 minutes about everything, it's not good for either of us.

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