August 11th, 2009

time is twisted

bits and pieces

- Rehearsals have begun.  They come with the usual frustrations, which I don't feel like listing anymore.  The play itself is awesome, and so far I'm really enjoying this cast so hopefully it will all balance out.

- I can't tell at all what is going on with my thyroid levels now.  I'm being careful to sleep at least eight hours a night now that rehearsals have started, but I can't tell if the low energy is my levels being off or just my being out of practice at actually working.

- I am nervous about what will happen next week when I go off the T3 hormone and am just relying on the T4.  It's tech week, so it would be a sucky time to have my hormones do new things.

- At the movies last night I saw the preview for "Nine" the musical.  I sang along to "Be Italian", gasped as each new female face hit the screen (oh, the cast), and I cannot wait for this movie to arrive.  J pointed out that there is another movie called "9" coming out this fall which might be confusing.  I have a feeling the Venn diagram crossover for musical theatre and animated steampunk isn't so huge, but I am smack in the middle and hugely excited about both movies.

- Last weekend we got a few more bookshelves and so the pile of things still to be unpacked is very small.  It's also pretty much all mine, and is likely going to stay a pile until September after this show opens.

- I've been watching reruns of "What Not to Wear" on TLC as my brainless TV and it is making me want to redo my wardrobe.  Or at the very least get a rid of a few things before anyone could make fun of them.  it is interesting though, that in most of the episodes I've seen the makeoveree is really attractive and has a great body type.

- The post office has yet to forward any of my magazines or catalogs, though the mail seems to be coming through fine.  I think my old mail carrier is taking my EW for himself.

- The scar has gotten really itchy again.  J pointed out that it was an incision through lots of layers so there's lots of healing to be done, but it is really disconcerting.

- Living with J is awesome.  Having a roommate who actually cleans anything at all is exciting all on its own, but this is really good.  Yay!

- I'm still not running again, I figured I had better be sure I can get through work before I add any active play.  I'm thinking it'll be another week or two.  I feel flabbier than I was, but the scale is staying the same, which means I'm probably losing muscle.  That is no good.
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DBaD

I discovered something about myself last week that was a little unsettling.

Most of the people on staff at TW or in rehearsal don't know about my recent medical adventures.  I didn't want every single person I work with to have a stake in my health, or have to answer questions to start every conversation.  I am guessing it's a pretty open secret given the scar*, and that some people do know, but I have been grateful that I've been able to guard my privacy.

But in dealing with people last week I discovered something not so attractive about myself.  I wanted everyone to cut me slack for my medical issues, even though most people didn't know about them, and I still didn't want to tell them.  It's completely unrealistic, and rather self-centered.  I wanted everyone to just sense that I had recently had a hard time and adjust.

It makes me wonder how many people walk around with some major issues happening in their life that we don't know about, wishing that someone would just cut them some slack.  It makes me think that I should probably try to cut everyone slack, all the time.

Which leads wonderfully into this post I've seen linked by several of my friends today by [info]fragbert: fragbert.livejournal.com/442522.html

 And I am grateful for every one of you here, and the support you've provided.

 

*I still think the scar is impossible to miss, and I expect most people to notice it and maybe ask.  Most people don't ask, whether or not that means they don't notice, I can't say.  Those folks that have asked are luckily all people I am close enough to and trust enough to tell.  So far no one has asked that I don't feel comfortable telling, that will be an interesting bridge to cross if it happens.