December 3rd, 2011


day 29

This is supposed to be gratitude day 29.  I can think of good things about yesterday: the understudies were prepared even if I wasn't, the director chose not to schedule rehearsal this afternoon, the previews have been getting steadily smoother.

But I just checked my email, and an actor has an issue with other actors that he won't take care of himself, instead he wants to hide behind me without actually giving me all the details I need to deal with it.  The same actor who broke props on Thursday while practicing, and pointed out an issue with the set to me yesterday at 5p (PS if it's been an issue since tech, dinner break the day before we open is too late).  I was so frustrated at him and his bullshit that I pushed away my boyfriend who only wanted to give me kisses, and I'm sitting here near tears because apparently opening this show isn't going to fix a damn thing.

This isn't that big a deal.  I know that.  But I am all out of cope.  I just want to run away.  Instead I'll plaster a smile on my face tonight and call opening the best I know how, and get out of there as quickly as I can.  It's unfortunate that the place I'm going to spend most of my time between now and the end of the month is a place I want to avoid.