November 24th, 2019


LJI: feckless

Do not give the Magpie a marshmallow.

If you give the Magpie a marshmallow, it will ask for a graham cracker to help unstick its beak.

If you give the Magpie a graham cracker, it will want you to build a campfire so it can make s’mores.

If you build the Magpie a camp fire, it will want to stay up all night eating s’mores and telling stories.

If you tell stories with the Magpie, it will ignore everyone else at the fire and chatter endlessly about the world that was, the halcyon days, the time of the first golden light.

If the Magpie starts talking about the world that was, the halcyon days, the time of the first golden light simply listen.  The Magpie will describe how colors were brighter when they were new, how a lake tried to steal itself out of the sky coloring their tail feathers forever, and how the mountains stretched high wanting to stroke their white downy belly. The Magpie will brag about the times it bested bigger animals than itself, pulling the Eagle’s tail or even…

The Magpie will roar with laughter as it tells of shadowing Coyote through the woods as he hunted a rabbit.  Coyote pounced and wounded the rabbit even unto death, but the rabbit used the last of its strength to run.  The Magpie dribbled berry juice along a separate path so the Coyote would track no animal at all, and the Magpie could perch on the corpse of the uncaught rabbit and feast.

If the Magpie is strutting around as though it had only just stolen the Coyote’s meal, it will decide to perform even greater feats.  The Magpie will puff itself up until it is bigger than the trees and declare that it is going to steal the moon out of the sky to use as a bauble in its nest.

If the Magpie who is bigger than the Buffalo flies to the moon, it will fly for a very long time, but the moon will never draw any closer.  The Magpie will fly through a day and into the next night and still not arrive at the moon.  The Magpie will turn around and fly back to the remnants of your camp fire.

If the Magpie returns from trying to catch the moon; it will be tired and sad.

If the tired and sad Magpie asks for a snack, all you have left to offer are graham crackers.

If you give the Magpie a graham cracker, it will listlessly peck at the food and complain that it is too dry and boring and what it needs is a softer, sweeter food; perhaps a marshmallow.

Do not give the Magpie a marshmallow.

***It's week 7 of LJ Idol, read everyone else's feckless entries at the link.  Special thanks to my eight year old niece Rose who unknowingly helped me brainstorm this piece.***