Kitty starts a story about the twins’ latest babysitter fiasco while refilling her wine glass and I sit back. I have known these women since middle school, and love that we have managed to not only stay in touch but still have a monthly lunch. But as the only one without kids I occasionally zone out when the conversation swings to the mommy zone. I learned a long time ago that my experiences baby-sitting my nieces and nephews just aren’t the same. A burst of groans signals the end of Kitty’s story.
“Well, I have big news to share,” says Lisa. “I’m pregnant, again.”
“I knew it! I knew there was a reason you ordered a Shirley Temple!” said Crystal.
“How far along are you?” asked Denise.
“Congratulations, lady,” I said leaning in to give her a one armed hug. Lisa beamed.
“So you lovely friends of mine, the second one is easier, right?”
The whole table hooted with laughter. “The second one is different,” said Cindy “and you have more experience so everything isn’t brand new.”
“Right but some things will still be brand new, and this time you get to start sleep deprived,” said Denise. “And your adorable Eva will be there, still needing help. A second child isn’t just adding one, it’s more like multiplication.”
“Trust me, two kids make about six times the mess,” said Kitty.
“And have about a zillion times the stuff,” said Crystal. “Who knew clothes that small could take up so much space?”
“Well, we’re hoping to reuse a lot of Eva’s things. But, will the pregnancy be easier the second time?” asked Lisa.
“Sadly, I think we are programmed to forget all the hard parts after the baby is born, so we’ll be willing to do it again,” said Cindy.
“Right now I just wish it wasn’t called morning sickness. I end up feeling bad when I get sick in the afternoon, like I’m doing it wrong,” said Lisa.
“Mostly it’ll be the same, except this time you’ll have an idea of what’s coming. I’m not sure if that’s better or worse,” said Denise with a gentle smile. “Ladies - a toast to the new mom!”
We all raised our glasses and clinked with a round of “Here, heres”. Cindy peered at me over her mojito and said, “So, Sarah, do you have any news, maybe of a similar nature? The wedding was 18 months ago.”
“Actually, Nathan and I have talked about it, and we’ve decided we’re not going to try for children.”
The whole table sat in stunned silence. “But why wouldn’t you want to have kids?” asked Kitty.
I looked around the table at my wonderful, strong female friends, who shared their mommy horror stories every month, and tried to formulate an answer that wouldn’t offend.
***Here's my take on "scare quotes" for this week in LJ Idol. This is fictional non-fiction, with bits of a lot of different conversations all compressed into one."***