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LJ Idol week 1: Saying Goodbye

When I was in college, one of my best friends didn’t believe in saying goodbye. He felt that it was unnecessary, and much easier to just disappear from a gathering. It could be awkward for those of us who were still at a party, looking for him wondering where he went. While I understand why Ian would prefer to just walk away I’ve come to the conclusion that he was wrong. Goodbyes are an important part of social interaction.
Of course goodbyes come in different intensities. There are simple ones - saying goodbye to my boyfriend this morning as he was on his way to work with a kiss and verifying who was making first contact at the end of the day. There are more complex ones – ending a relationship with someone you once loved, or still love who once loved you. There are the goodbyes that never really stop, and goodbyes that only matter for an instant. But goodbyes are needed.
Just as every story needs a beginning, middle, and end; every personal interaction needs a conclusion, or at least a pause. I still struggle with this because there are certainly times that I would love to slip away instead of acknowledging someone I don’t particularly like. But I am not the only person involved in that goodbye. And they might need the closure even if I could forego it. Now that doesn’t mean I have to match their mushiness, or stay too long. I remember how I felt when Ian would disappear without saying anything: sad, uncared for, and unimportant. I know that I don’t ever want to intentionally make someone else feel that way. Not even the people I don’t like.
Goodbyes should never be ignored. They may be unpleasant but they are always vital. And sometimes the ones you are the most scared of turn out to be the most perfect of all. 

**This is my entry for Week One of LJ Idol on the topic of "saying goodbye".  I will post a link to the poll when it goes live.  Thanks for reading.**

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I know an "Ian" too. It took a long time for me to understand that it wasn't me; it was him.

Thank you for your entry.

it wasn't me; it was him
Exactly. And even knowing that I still felt left out of something.

Thanks for reading.

But I am not the only person involved in that goodbye. And they might need the closure even if I could forego it.

This is a good point. Thanks. :)

Thanks. This ended up being really different than what I thought it was when I started writing.

I have a friend that when she gets very drunk, disapears. If she's at home, she'll just go to bed and leave all her guest doing whatever. It's a really bad situation when she is not at home, as she's been know to just up and go without telling anyone, and if once when she was at a neigbours, she up and left and then decided to sleep in some bushes.

It makes it so that if she's drinking you feel like you have to babysit her, so that she doesn't do herself harm. Which wouldn't be the case if she was in the habit of saying goodbye, and her friends could watch out for her.

Her lack of goodbye makes life more difficult for you, which is no good. Especially if she does it when drunk so you can't be sure she'll be safe. That is a freaky situation for you.

I wish it was longer. I like your style though. Good entry.

I wanted to say more, but everything else I came up with felt like it didn't belong.

Thank you for the kind words, and for reading.

I have a friend who takes it to the next level and literally just disappears. From friends, family, the lot. He'll vanish and then reappear a year later.

I haven't heard from him in ages. I worry sometimes. I hope he comes back.

That is unsettling. I hope he comes back too.

But I am not the only person involved in that goodbye. And they might need the closure even if I could forego it.

I guess that's what I tried to say in my entry, but you didn't waste as many words saying it. Good entry!


I like your sentiments and enjoyed reading your entry.

Best of luck in Idol.

I like how you pulled it together at the end.

Thanks - I kept trying to add one more example and then realized I needed to leave it along.

Very interesting perspectives with lots of valid points to cover in this week's topic. Great job!

I think you're right about social interactions like stories needing a beginning, middle and an end. That's a really wonderful perspective.

Very well done!

that was very well written!
Lol that is funny that your friend literally just never said goodbye before leaving a party. I use to hate it if I was in a phone box and it would cut out on me; I'd have to say goodbye to the person.
good luck in idol! :)

Thank you!

Yeah, I remember wandering around looking for him for 15 minutes once until someone finally said 'oh he left ages ago'. Gah.

So did you call back just to say goodbye?

This piece had some very wise points. However, what I really took away from it was your sense of how to treat others... and I was uplifted by that. Great entry.

Thank you for that very kind compliment. Now I feel like I will have to live up to it, which is part of the point of compliments anyway.

Thanks for reading.

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